10 Key Pieces of Wedding Planning Advice

We’ve somehow been married for 6 months already and I don’t even know where the time has gone. But as I think back on our wedding day I truly can’t get over how perfect it was. Like I can honestly say it was my dream wedding. We got to spend the most amazing day surrounded by the most amazing people and the whole thing went off without a hitch. My husband frequently asks me if I want to get married again, and my answer is always a resounding heck yes!

We had an amazing team taking care of us. Something we really wanted to do for our wedding was support POC vendors. It required a TON of work and research, but we ended up with a pretty extensive list of amazingly talented folks out of the deal. Truly it was the perfect day.

This wouldn’t be a proper wedding graduation post without a recommendation list. So now for information you’ve all been waiting for: My “Top 10 things I would tell engaged Kelly if I could go back in time” list". Here goes.

 

#1 Don’t sweat the small stuff!

If you think about it a wedding isn’t dissimilar to a play. And yet you only rehearse it once! People in theatre and dance rehearse for pretty much the entire year before they put on a production, so you really can’t be too hard on yourself about something going wrong on your wedding day. It’s inevitable really, and trust me. After the fact the things that you’ll remember aren’t going to be what color the flowers were or the flavor of the cake. You’re going to remember the way your dad looked at you, that fact that your husband said “I Do” before the officiant had finished speaking, or that funny joke your bridesmaid made while she was holding up your dress in the bathroom. And you’ll cherish those moments forever whether every little details was perfect or not.

 

#2 Spring for the sentimental pieces.

All my life I looked at this photo from my parents’ wedding and said to myself “I don’t know when I’m getting married, but I know that I’m wearing this dress”. My mom’s dress was a masterpiece. Sewn by my great grandmother who worked in the garment district in NYC, it’s a one-of a-kind work of art. I searched for a seamstress that specialized in vintage alterations and found Colleen, the sweetest lady behind White Orchid Bridal in Atlanta. She helped me get this gorgeous dress to fit and even made a cape for me with the neckpiece that we removed. I felt like royalty on my wedding day and I wouldn’t have had it any other way. AND I had room in the budget to get a reception dress to top it all off (which naturally I had to have to protect the heirloom dress from too much partying 🤣).

 

#3 IDK who needs to hear this, but hire a coordinator.

I’ve been in a few weddings now where it was all hands on deck to DIY the day from top to bottom. I loved being able to help out those brides on their day! But as a creative professional with control freak tendencies, I personally wanted my wedding to be the one day that I didn’t have to play art director. So from the jump I knew I wanted to hire a coordinator who could run the show day-of. In came Deianna of Your Big Day ATL (pictured above). She was an absolutely pleasure to work with. So organized, she knew every detail of our day better than we did. To the point that, on the actual day when I was asked any question I’d answer “idk ask Deianna”. I never knew how things got resolved, I just knew when a crisis arose it was immediately handled and I didn’t hear about it again. Which in my opinion is exactly the appropriate way to spend you wedding day.

 

#4 Do the first look.

If I had to pic a favorite moment from our wedding day, it would be our private vows that we shared after our first look. It’s funny. It’s your wedding and yet, you don’t actually spend all that much time alone with you spouse. It was recommended by our photographers that we get this time alone. and I’m glad we did. It was so special getting to sit together and gush over how we were here, we’d made it and we were finally about to get married. And it helped us get the wedding jitters out before we got to the ceremony, though that doesn’t mean we didn’t still cry! I also did a first look with my dad, and that coupled with my mom and sister helping me into my dress meant that I came home with so many wonderful memories of quality time spent with my favorite people, which I wouldn’t trade for anything.

 

#5 Choose people for your wedding party that you know are rock solid.

That means no childhood friends need to get asked just cause you’ve known them forever (if you still hangout then that’s okay obviously) and no she-asked-me-so-I-have-to-ask-her obligatory folks either. Also to be frank, I would highly recommend having some married people in the mix. We had to be flexible for our wedding due to covid, and still we had some dropouts in our wedding party. But like I said earlier, stuff is bound to go wrong. And you’ll want people in your party that truly love you and care for you to hold you up through all the stress. Plus having married people just means that you’ll have someone you can ask all the crazy questions like “what kind of spanx should I get for both wedding dresses” or “how likely am I to regret not lengthening my skirt” (and yes I’m speaking from experience lol).

 

#6 Try to get things you’ll wear again.

I was a very extra bride, so the goal with most of the things I purchased for our wedding was decidedly not reduce/reuse/recycle. But almost because of that it can be really gratifying to get certain items you’ve always wanted and plan to wear again. For instance, my earrings were this pair from Aurate that I’d had my eye on just cause they’re cute. I went with some nude patent leather Jimmy Choos rather than the typical white lace or satin bridal shoes that I knew would end up dirty and never to be worn again. I’ve worn both the shoes and the earrings many times since the wedding. And hey, if you wanna get that over the top custom African bridal fan, go for it! Reselling or decorating with things counts as reusing too 👌🏾

 

#7 Get comfortable reception shoes. Your feet will thank you!

Let’d be real. For a typical American wedding, you’ll be at the venue for at leave 8 hours if not closer to 12. And a good bit of that is standing around taking photos. After which, if you’re like me, you’ll be running straight to the dance floor. I’d been to plenty of wedding where the bride was so done with her shoes by the time photos were finished with, that she ended up barefoot or in Birkenstocks or something. And I took notes, so I made sure to get myself some cute but comfy reception shoes that I’d want to change into. Initially I picked up some feathery slides, but a test run at the house told me those would get easily flung off. So instead at the last minuted I ordered these all white converse and had no zero regrets come reception time. Also happy to report that I’ve worn them a ton since the wedding as well!

 

#8 YES, the videographer is worth it.

After it’s all said and done, the photos are what really keep the day fresh in your mind. But a video is how you remember the little details that so quickly fade to haze in our memories. And I’ll be honest, even without covid we live in a world where life is not a guarantee. In the two years time that I was engaged one of my aunts passed away, and Tariq lost a great uncle, both people who otherwise would’ve been on the guest list. I’m forever grateful that to have moments like my dad’s speech, my mom’s amazing facial expressions, and my family and friends all dancing and laughing with Tariq’s forever immortalized on film.

 

#9 If you don’t rock with something that’s considered traditional for a wedding, skip it!

We went without favors since a lot of folks we knew that had gotten married said they were often left with a ton of them at the end of the night. It seemed that from stories I’d seen in a lot of the wedding planning groups I was in, most people think they’re a waste of time. And it makes sense! I’ve been a wedding guest, and when you’re tired and tipsy and on your way out it’s just so easy to miss the favors sitting on the table. At weddings where I’ve left and didn’t get something, I truly couldn’t tell you whether that was because I forgot to grab it or because they didn’t have it. So we skipped that, and no one noticed!

 

#10 And last but not least, cherish the day.

All that planning, all that stress, and the whole day will be over before you can say “married”. Regardless of what might go wrong or who may suddenly decide not to come, it’s really up to you to be present and happy. You can’t control how people act, but you can control the power it has over you. If your wedding ends and all you can think about is how the flowers weren’t the right color, then you’re focusing on the wrong thing. You should come out of you wedding feeling grateful that it happened and excited to move into this new chapter of your life! So on the actual day, take it all in and cherish the moments as they happen. That way you have lovely memories to reminisce on while you wait for all your photos to get edited 🤣

 

Like I said, our day was as perfect as I could’ve asked for. I love this man, and I’m so excited for the rest of our life together. We are blessed to have had such an amazing day, and we really were so well taken care of by our awesome vendors (who I’ve linked below).

Also, if you’re like me and OBSESSED with creeping on wedding photos, do yourself a favor and go checkout our @YesWeCayne instagram account. My husband has been stretching his content creation muscles over there and is doing a beautiful job posting all about our wedding day ♡

- Kelly Rose

Life, WeddingKelly Rose CayneWedding, LifestyleComment